April 27th, 2005

colorful lovers

running.thoughts

my darkest thoughts come at nightwheni'mallalone. theyaregettingdeeperasthedaysgobyandifearimaysoonbeunabletocontrolthemandthisrealizationexcitesmeandscaresmetodeath,whichexcitesmetoo,butinafearfulway. i'msureotherpeoplehavehadthesethoughtsbeforebutmostofthemareprobablyondeathrowordoing20tolifeifyougetwhatimean. thesedeepthoughts...areunnaturaltosaytheleast. icannotspeaktoanyoneiknowbecausetheywouldn'tunderstand,theywouldjudgeandneverlookatmethesameanymore,youknowhowthatisright? iknowi'mnotalone,right...?